I’d like to work a little bit with the idea of forgiveness. It is not an easy word at all; there are deep requirements attached, like giving and receiving and serious consequences if we don’t. The concept of forgiveness is perhaps best dealt with in what we call “The Lords Prayer.” This prayer is not a rhetorical dialog Jesus had one day with God the Father to show the disciples how it was done. The prayer is a detailed outline of instructions on praying effectively and, in my mind’s eye, our actual physical posture should change as we move through a prayer like Jesus prayed. I would like to spend more time here but to stay on subject, Jesus instructs us to ask for forgiveness in the manner in which we have given forgiveness. This creates an interesting loop because usually when we become convicted of sin in our lives and approach God for forgiveness the Spirit is faithful to point out the manner in which we have forgiven others and hold us accountable. Jesus also stated in another scripture that if we do not forgive we will not receive forgiveness.
There are a couple relationships in which forgiveness is a key. One is the relationship between forgiveness and faith. It is a very interesting ratio of 1:1, because your faith will never grow past the depth to which you believe you have been forgiven. Nor will God ever be bigger to you than what you believe the weight of your sin was that He has forgiven you. There are also some words that orbit around forgiveness that add to it’s meaning; like tolerance, generosity, long-suffering, gentleness, and love.
I have to pause here and finish a story. Previously I have written regarding a dreadful period of my life in which I was bound by an addiction to pornography. Those years were wasted because of the grip this had on my life allowing my sinful nature to rule. Haunted by fear and motivated by a belly full of anger I did my best to hide. In February 2000, my life was a big ball of chain and I had reached the tipping point. My son was born on January 25 of that year and as I looked at the beautiful gift I now held in my hands I just felt totally helpless. I knew then that I could not be the father my children needed or the husband my wife needed. I felt hopelessly bound. Only one thing separated me from the life I knew I needed to live…forgiveness. Satan had convinced me that God was just not big enough to deal with my problem, I was on my own and all hope was gone. It was cold and dark on that February day as I drove from Fairbanks to North Pole at the end of another day’s work. Along that road there is an adult shop called Fantasyland and everyday the signs and lights advertising the contents of the store called to me. I had never stopped before, but on this day I made a decision that was going to change the rest of my life. As the store approached I pulled over to the side of the road made the turn and pulled into the parking lot. I was shocked at the decision I had just made and I knew that this was it. If I went in, my life would plummet; I would have to leave my family because I knew I could not pass on what I was about to do to that innocent little boy. It was dark and cold. I closed my eyes and put my head on the steering wheel. I was of all men most miserable. I looked up as a man came out of the door. In the light of the single bulb beside the door my brief glimpse of the man’s face is one I will never forget; it was a hard, haggard face. It was a face that described where I knew I was headed. I groaned audibly and put my head back on the steering wheel. I was worn, I was tired, it was dark, and my life was bitterly cold; in a shoulder sagging monotone I spoke these words, “God, I have come to the end. If You do not do something right now I will lose everything, I cannot carry this on my own anymore.” It is hard for me to really explain what happened in the next second because the breaking of the chains was nearly a physical thing. The unbearable weight exploded from my life and I could almost hear each of the hundreds of links shatter and fall to the earth. You see, in the shadow of a single light bulb under a sign that had enticed me for many years, I had been forgiven.
I want to share something very special with you. This song is my song, it contains a very special message in a beautiful picture of forgiveness. The song’s title is: Forgiven, by Sanctus Real. If this link does not work you can find it on Youtube or in any Christian bookstore near you, but I hope that right now you will take the time to listen.
I can never recall this moment in my life without crying. My sin was more than I could bear yet in a moment of time it was gone. Suddenly, God became Almighty and the clarity of the light of the Gospel shown brightly in my life. In that moment I knew that God could indeed do anything! I wonder sometimes if the body of Christ does not suffer as a whole, as I did, tricked into believing that forgiveness is shallow and faith is just in the songs we sing on Sunday. Luke 8 sheds some light on this subject in the Parable of the Sower. The interesting part is that our attitude towards our sinful nature prepares the ground that the seed, the Word of God, lands on. The ground that is plowed up and ready receives The Word and bears fruit. I truly feel that my life hung in that balance on that cold dark evening. At the very bottom of my heart I wanted God’s way, but I could not see the way. Today, nearly 13 years later, I can truly say that the forgiveness brought about by the blood of Jesus Christ goes deeper than any sin and I stand before God, forgiven.
Back to the ratio of forgiveness and faith. Maybe to understand this a little better we should look at sin again. Too often as humans we want to quantify things, and sin is no different. We have all kinds of categories; sin of commission, sin of omission, private sin, public sin, big sin, little sin, and then there’s the sin that is really, really bad (whatever that means to you.) We add different weights or measures to all of them and then we rationalize our proximity to God according to those weights and measures. It is as though we approach God Almighty with a sauntering gate, hands in our pockets, chewing a toothpick; asking for forgiveness. I wonder sometimes if the body of Christ does not recognize the weight of sin and that sin (period) separates us from God. I wonder if we recognize the weight that Jesus carried up that hill that day, the agony that nailed Him to the cross, the love that kept Him there until the work was finished. I know that until the severity of this reaches the deepest part of your heart you will never have a deep faith. This is a very personal thing. If the cross of Christ does not make you weep, you need to get down on your knees until it does. I believe that collectively, the body of Christ needs to get on our face before God and beg for an awakening on this matter because the earth shattering power of His resurrection is what we leave behind when we settle for a shallow forgiveness that produces a shallow faith.
Barrier Buster 